Working with expats and migrants arriving in Aotearoa, I’m often reminded of the iceberg theory of emotions—especially when it comes to anger, frustration, or even just that low-level irritation that can creep into daily life during a major transition.
Above the surface, we might see someone who’s snappy with their partner, critical of the local school system, or fed up with the months it is taking for their shipment of personal effects to arrive.
It’s tempting to read those reactions at face value. But, like an iceberg, the real emotional drivers are mostly beneath the surface.
What’s really going on?
1. They may be feeling overwhelmed by bureaucracy.
There is so much set up when you move to a new country and it all needs to be done yesterday! Bank accounts, tax numbers, onboarding to a new employer and systems … Most of our clients are dealing with more admin and bureaucracy in their first week than they have for years.
2. Lonely in a sea of unfamiliar faces and customs. Every interaction takes effort from decoding the New Zealand accent to worrying about correct office attire, or playdate etiquette for your kids. It’s easy to feel like you are the only one who doesn’t know what's going on.
3. Insecure about their role, identity, or future. Many of our clients come from well-established careers and networks offshore, so it’s natural that rebuilding that all from scratch in Aotearoa can be a stressful process. Then there’s the practical issue that not all newcomers have a clear residence pathway when they first arrive.
4. Exhausted from the constant need to adapt. Relocation means everything has changed in your life. All at once. It’s far more than just starting a new job - expats and migrants are also establishing a complete new life for themselves and their families. That’s tiring.
Many migrants and expats carry this emotional load silently, unsure whether it’s “okay” to struggle when they’ve made the choice to move.
This is something employers and colleagues need to be aware of, and show empathy to their newly arrived expat or migrant team members.
If you’re seeing that anger or frustration come out at work, take a moment to check in about how they are feeling and recognise the validity and enormity of those hidden emotions.
Showing this understanding is one crucial way we can support newcomers to move from survival to belonging in their new lives here in Aotearoa.
Kia ora and welcome to New Zealand!
Mobile Relocation connects you with what you need to thrive in New Zealand. Contact us today to talk about how we can carry your relocation burden.
If you are a recruiter or HR Professional bringing international talent to NZ Mobile Relocation has a range of settlement support services to suit your candidates and your business - from baseline support to meet Immigration New Zealand’s AEWV Accreditation requirements (Kiwi Launch Pad) through to personalised programmes to support your most valued international employees.
Bridget is a New Zealander who has lived and worked as a diplomat in Singapore and India. After experiencing all facets of the relocation experience, she founded Mobile to work with private individuals moving to NZ and leading local and international businesses bringing in offshore talent.
Source: www.mobile-relocation.com