The festive season has arrived and with borders being closed for 20 months now, expats in New Zealand and Kiwis living offshore will be facing another summer far away from loved ones. On top of not being able to physically spend the holidays with family, New Zealand’s unique time zone further disrupts attempts to synchronise celebrations.
To help address these issues, Mobile Relocation recently collaborated with author and Distance Family Expert Helen Ellis in a webinar to learn all about how to:
Refresh your modes of communication
Short-circuit conflict
Stay close, even when you’re far apart
Mobile team member Dani Kuchel moved from Germany to New Zealand four years ago and shares her key takeaways through the lens of an expat.
In all matters of life, communication is key. Therefore, the words we choose and how we talk have a huge impact on our relationships, especially the long-distance ones. They need that bit of extra attention.
Helen broke down the different levels to the “Three H´s” - harmful, human and helpful communication, which every expat most likely has experienced at some stage.
Our mind is a wild place :) and sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the things that aren't going right or we cannot have.
Shifting the focus to the things that are within our control rather than the ones we cannot influence, can make all the difference. We simply cannot do anything about closed borders, difficult time differences or the COVID situation in either our home or chosen country. However, we can get a little creative and make the best of the situation we´re in.
Helen shared some very simple ideas that really resonated with me:
Have you considered flipping your routines around, in order to open presents together via video chat? Being flexible with the time and order of your Christmas activities might even lead to some popular new holiday traditions!
Include your family overseas in your holiday plans - share information about activities you’ll be doing, and send photo and video updates in a private family group chat as you travel.
Think outside the box. Try sending flowers before the festivities to have a lovely reminder visible on the big day even if you can’t be present. Or even gift the most precious things of all - time! Vouchers for one-on-one video calls with individual family members make fantastic presents.
Helen Ellis is a distance parent and grandparent herself for many years. Based on research, and personal experience, she takes a practical and empathetic approach to maintaining strong and healthy relationships with family offshore.
If you would like to learn more about how to keep family close when living in different countries, find the information about Helen´s book below and click the link to our expert interview with Helen:
Being a Distance Grandparent - a Book for ALL Generations is a perfect gift, at any time for your parents/grandparents. It acknowledges the good, the bad, and the sad. Parents and grandparents are comforted and feel less alone. It also, ever so gently, reminds the reader of their role in the Distance Family narrative i.e. to graciously accept their adult child's choices and not shower guilt and continuous upset.
The book is particularly well received by parents and grandparents when their adult children can say they have read it first.
Your reading the 'how it is' for them, is an act of love.
Then you can say: "I just read this book and now I get it. I understand your perspective. I hope you enjoy it too".
Available globally online in paperback and e-book, and in bookshops in NZ. In early 2022, an audio version will be available. To be kept informed, sign up for Helen’s monthly newsletter.
Mobile Relocation connects you with what you need to thrive in New Zealand. Contact us today to talk about how we can carry your relocation burden.
Bridget is a New Zealander who has lived and worked as a diplomat in Singapore and India. After experiencing all facets of the relocation experience, she founded Mobile to work with private individuals moving to NZ and leading local and international businesses bringing in offshore talent. bridget@mobile-relocation.com
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